Babies DraPeres: A "belated" birth story

Only for those who are interested:

My due date was October 25th, and even though Gabrielle came six days late, and I promised myself to allow the birth of #2 to come when it comes, I was still extremely antsy every day that he didn't arrive once October 25 came and went. I had "stretch and sweeps" performed every couple of days (if you don't know what this is, don't ask or google it), and was trying a variety of natural options for bringing on labour. My midwife had sent me for two ultrasounds to check on the status of the baby and both times we saw that he was thriving in there, and didn't appear to be growing inordinately large. Every time I saw the midwife, she assured me that babies always come. A ridiculous thing to need to hear, in hindsight, but I had actually come to believe that the baby was "stuck" and couldn't find his way out.

My last stretch and sweep was on the morning of Friday, November 6th. Claudia, my midwife, told me she thought baby would likely not arrive that day, but would almost certainly by the end of the weekend. Mark and I went out for a walk to lunch and then coffee (ow - uncomfortable). I headed to Loblaws to get some ingredients to make chocolate chip cookies while he picked up Gabrielle at daycare. I had heard about women making "birthday cakes" on the day they go into labour. In a clear act of desperation, I thought maybe birthday cookies would bring on baby's birthday.

I started feeling a bit more uncomfortable than usual on the bus ride home and when I walked in the door, I was pretty sure I recognized that feeling I was having. When Mark got home with Gabrielle at around 4pm, I told him I thought I was in labour. I also decided to call Claudia, our primary midwife, who I knew was going to be "off call" as of 5pm, just to let her know that labour had started and tell her she was wrong about her earlier prediction that labour wouldn't start that day. I also used it as a chance to chastise her for missing yet another of my births - she was our primary midwife with Gabrielle as well but because G dared show up almost a week late, another midwife delivered Gabrielle. No complaints, of course, I just enjoyed rubbing Claudia's nose in it a bit...

Figuring out what to do with Gabrielle has been our biggest concern with the home birth from the start. We called up Angie and put her on amber alert, as we still didn't know for sure that this was a go. About an hour later, I was more than certain that I was in labour - contractions were increasing in intensity and were coming every 5-6 minutes. We decided to keep Gabrielle at home, hoping she would sleep through the whole thing.

At 5:30pm, I decided to call the midwife to give her a heads up that labour had started. At that point, I had been told that the midwife on call was Miriam, a lovely woman whom I had met a couple of times already and who I looked forward to having at the birth. Miriam informed me that she likely wouldn't be able to make it to the birth, as she was at the hospital with a woman who had been in labour for 48 hours and who was heading to the operating room for a C-section. She told me to page her again once I believed I was in active labour and she would let me know who was coming. She told me she thought it would be a woman named Amanda, whom I had never met. I went to the computer to look up Amanda's bio on the Midwifery Collective website - I was somewhat horrified to realize that she had only gotten her midwife designation in July of 2009. She looked like a teenager in her photo. Oh god oh god oh god...

The labour progressed well, although I was having a hard time deciding when would be the best time to call the doula and midwife. I had always pictured the doula being in our house labouring with me for several hours before letting us know that she thought it was time to call the midwife. I was dealing with the contractions pretty well on my own and kept thinking that I wanted to "save her" for when I really needed her. In my mind, this was going to be a long, tiring process and I wanted to be sure that I could rally the troops when needed.

At around 9:30 pm, I told Mark that I thought we should call Pia, our doula. By my occasional glances at the clock, I could see that my contractions were coming closer together and seemed to be lasting around 45 seconds or so. At around 9:45, I told Mark that we should call the midwife as well, because things were so intense. He tried to talk me out of it, saying we should wait for the doula to arrive, but in my mind I kept thinking about the scenarios you hear about with the husband being in denial that birth is imminent and insisting on stopping to buy donuts or whatnot on the way to the hospital. I insisted he call the midwife, which he did (thanks honey).

Pia showed up at 9:50pm and Amanda showed up around 5 minutes later. Amanda checked me and said I was at 5-6 cms and completely thinned out (again, don't ask). In my mind, I thought this meant she was going to go home and come back in a few hours. To my surprise, she told me I was in active labour and she would be staying. Pia went right to work, getting me to try different positions and relaxation techniques, including a hot shower/bath (didn't work). The midwife set up her equipment in our bedroom. I was surprised to come back from the bathroom and find every surface covered in a piece of equipment: oxygen tanks for me and the baby, tools, sterilizing stuff, things I never found out what they were for. Before long, the contractions seemed to be coming one on top of the other - they sat me on a birthing stool which seemed to move things along.

At around 1am, the midwife said something about how she could see the bag of waters and the top of baby's head during the contractions. This completely shocked me - what was she talking about?? Was I really that far along? She told me baby was about to come out and that I was fully dilated. I asked her: am I supposed to push? She said: you don't have to - baby will just come out. I was pretty confused - this was completely unlike my previous delivery, where I spent hours and hours slowly dilating, being given my "number" every couple of hours until I reached the magic 10cm mark, at which point I was instructed to push with every contraction. In this case, all those steps were blending into one, and baby was coming, whether or not I was ready for him.

Amazingly, baby did seem to just come. My water broke and then baby made what felt like an interminable trip out, but was only just a few minutes. I was in a world of pain, but was assured he was on his way out and just to "breathe." I made a few big choiceless pushes, and indeed he was out at 1:52am, about 10 hours after labour began. I felt like I had woken up the neighbourhood, but Mark assured me I wasn't that loud. Hard to believe - I'm guessing he's just being the extremely supportive husband.

Speaking of which, Mark was literally and figuratively supportive throughout the labour. Most notably, he held me up for the last hour or so of the labour, while I pushed all my strength back against him. He even had to step out and get some air at some point, because he was feeling faint from the effort. He really was amazing throughout, which should surprise no one at all.

Amanda ended up being a godsend - a young woman with the maturity of a woman much more experienced than she. She was so calm and reassuring - I really feel indebted to her. Same with Pia - we chose her because of her views of the "normalcy" of birth and that's what she brought to the experience. Both of those ladies allowed me to just let baby come and didn't make a big deal of it, which allowed me to relax.

After Amanda and Pia cleaned up (yes, the house looked no worse for wear after they left), Mark and I and the little guy curled up in bed and tried to sleep while waiting to introduce him to his new sister. All in all, an unbelievable experience...